Monkeys of the Furibbean
by fuzzner41
Summary: Furzzabeth is taken by furryossa and his crew when Will Fuzzner and Jack Lemur go to save her along with Furzzabeth's odd talking sqirrel but it will be hard going after a monkey so hairy no even 20 razors could shave one arm pit
1. Furzzabeth and Fuzzner

Monkeys of the Furibbean

Curse of the black gorilla

Chapter one: Furzzabeth meets will Fuzzner

"Frodo, Frodo a hobbits life for me," said young Furzzabeth.

"Furzzabeth how many times do I have to tell you, you are not a hobbit you are but a hairless monkey looking slightly like an oversized rodent?" Said Governor Swann

(Governor Swann laughs to himself)

"Actually I find myself quite interesting."

"Yes that's what concerns me; well actually it more scares me come to think of it," said Governor Swann.

"You both scare me," yelled Gibbs.

"Look daddy! There's a monkey in the water and he's furless too!" Elizabeth yelled happily.

"Elizabeth I think there's something wrong with you that's the furriest um... thing I have ever seen."

"Get that fur ball on deck at once," exclaimed Furrington.

(Furrington and governor swan get him onto the ship)

"Furzzabeth, you're in charge of the fur ball so then if he attacks you'll be the first to die." Said Governor Swann

(Furzzabeth talks to the fur ball)

"Well don't you have a name? Said Furzzabeth, or maybe you don't have a name; I would have a hard time naming my son too if he looked like you,"

"My name is Will, Will Fuzzner and I wouldn't be talking if I were you. I mean come on your hairless. Hey you kind look like an oversized rodent." Said Will very offended.

(Furzzabeth wakes up from her dream)

"I can remember that day as if it were just yesterday."

"You do know you're talking to yourself and that was just yesterday," said Furzzabeth's odd talking squirrel.

"Oh... Right wait min. squirrels can't talk!"

(Suddenly there is a knock at the door Governor Swan comes in)

"Furzzabeth I have a present for you," said governor swan quite happily

(Furzzabeth opens it)

"Oh daddy it's wonderful, it's what I always wanted an elephant pooh dress!"

(She tries it on)

"Daddy is it supposed to smell this bad?"

"Well I've heard it's the latest fashion in the Furibbean,"

"Well women in the Furibbean must have learned not to breathe!"

"Governor Swan you have a visitor, it's the fur ball," said the butler

"Ya know he does have a name," yelled governor swan disgusted.

"Ya like I said the fur ball is here!"

(Goes down to find will waiting at the door)


	2. odd talking squirrels

"Have you ever heard of the happy tree friends?" Will questioned.

"The happy what?" said Governor Swann very confused

"Oh never mind!! Anyways this sword is so sharp even the happy tree friends would not accept it."

"The happy what?"

"Oh never mind!! What im trying to say is be careful it's very sharp I once dropped it and nearly shaved off all of my back hairs."

"How did it get to your back?" Governor Swann questioned

"Well I don't know o never mind that I must be on my way!"

"No, no, no!! you're doing it all wrong you're not supposed to be talking about happy tree friends and you're not supposed to be "on your way" You're supposed to wait for Furzzabeth to come downstairs and tell you about her dream about you!! Said a very mad Will **TURNER.**

"Who's Furzzabeth? Who are you, you seem some what familiar" said Legoles

"Who am I? This my story what are you tow doing in it?

"My love we shall be together forever! Wait a min. you aren't my love. Where am I who are you?" said Paris

"Okay this getting scary! Let's get back to the story," said Will Fuzzner

"Hey Legoles can I get your autograph im quite a big fan," asked Governor Swann

(Furzzabeth comes down the stairs)

"Furzzabeth you smell horrible," Screamed Will.

"I thought what we ha was special!" Cried Furzzabeth

"You're the only special thing I see. Yet that smell intrigues me I love you I have been thinking and now I realize you're the only furless thing for me!" said Will.

"Furzzabeth, we have to go this instant!' yelled Governor Swann.

"Good bye Fuzzner," Said Furzzabeth

"How many times must I tell you to call me will babe?"

"Good bye will babe!"

(Leaves as will watches sadly as she drives away)

(Now Jack is coming on his ship)

De de de de de de do do do do

Please!! Stop brain washing me with that obnoxious squirrel music I thought we had already agreed if you don't play your squirrel talk then I give you free acorns!" Said Jack extremely annoyed.

"Fine!" said Fabio (another one of Furzzabeth's odd talking squirrels)

Dun dun dun dun duna dun dun dun

Jack: Now that's more like it! Bloody furballs! The ship is sinkin-

"No, no, no, don't say furballs that's will nick name," said Pafoofta (a very, very extremely odd squirrel of Furzzabeth's)

"Well sorry Miss "I know everything" said Poppet (an even odder squirrel)

"Was I even talking to you?" Screamed Pafoofta

"Bloody cheese chunks!" said Jack.

"Bloody cheese chunks!? That worse than furball you could at least come up with a decent one! Yelled Pafoofta.

"Bloody fish head! The ship is sinking! Ahh and theres a shark slash whale slash beaver slash dolphin slash seal." said Jack.

"Enough already it's not a shark slash whale slash dolphin slash beaver slash seal it's an octopus ya ding bat!" Said the middle hanging pirate on the rock.

"Oh right!

(He tries to get the water out goes back on top of his ship and barely reaches the dock)

"It's a hairball to tie Ur boat up to the dock." Said the Harbour Master.

"Ya I know that why I didn't tie it, I figured it would be better if I just let it sink," said Jack.

(Back to Furzzabeth and furrington)


	3. furrington makes a big mistake

"May I have moment Furzzabeth, I must speak my mind you have become a hairless women and come to think of it you look slight like an oversized rodent," said Furrington.

"Ahh! How dare you say that to me! You! You, well I can't think of anything to call you, but give me five min. and im sure I will think of something great." Said Furzzabeth

(Mean while back to jack he goes down the dock and meets up with the two guards)

"Hey! You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, well actually I don't know who you are. I knew you looked familiar, oh and by the way this dock is off limits to furvillians." Said Murtogg

"Um iv completely no idea what in the furballs your talking about." Said Jack terribly confused.

"Oh yes I forgot what I was talking about too."

"Right what a pretty ah row boat no canoe no fairy no boat no um it coming to me... oh yes ship that is!" Jack exclaimed

"Yah the green baboon is the pear in these waters but there's no real ship that can even come close to matching the blue ape for speed." said Mullroy.

"Squeak! Squeak!! Um excuse me for interrupting but yes there is!" squeaked Pafoofta.

"You stupid squirrel on drugs!! Get out of here!!" Jack yelled. (Jack kicks Pafoofta and she flies across into the water) (They hear squeaks in the distance)

"Anyways where were we?" Mullroy asked.

"Ya huh I've heard of one supposed to be real fast! Not UN catch able, the black gorilla. Said Jack.

"Theres no real ship that could even comes close to matching the blue ape for speed." Said Murtogg.

"Hey the black gorilla is a real ship!" screamed Mullroy.

"You are rally telling me that you've seen a ship with fury sails captain by monkey so fury that not even twenty razors could even shave one armpit." questioned Murtogg.

And theres only one part he ever shaves the inside of his nose.

"So you're saying he has hairy eyeballs?" Murtogg questioned.

"Hm... Well I dunno um... wait a min. you can't have fury eyes!"

"My mommy's the smartest person in the world and she says you can!" Chanted Mullroy.

"Right im sure she's a real genus," said Murtogg sarcastically.

"Hey you get away for there you baboon!" Yelled Mullroy.

"IM sorry it's just that it's an ugly piece of crap I mean its such a beautiful ship did you make it yourself?" Jack asked.

"Well yes im know quite well for my handy work up here ya know." Said Mullroy.

"Im sure I would be known for my work to if my ship looked that ugly I mean pretty." Said Jack.

"Alright what's Ur purpose in fuzzroal Mr. who ever you are?" yelled Murtogg.

"Well my plans are in fact to rob every cheese factory from here to china."

"I think he's not telling the truth," said Murtogg.

"If he wasn't telling the truth he would have to us," said Mullroy.

"Unless of course he know he wasn't telling the truth even if it weren't" Exclaimed Jack.

"That makes no sense at all!" Screamed Murtogg

"Well da! You can't make money form telling lies!" Yelled Mullroy.

(Back to Furrington and Furzzabeth)

"Furzzabeth that, that smell I- I can berate (push her off the wall) Ahh that much better now!" Furrington said relieved.

"And then they made me eat their cheese!" Said Jack (He hears a splash)

Look did you just se that oversized rodent fall into the water?

"Yes!" Chanted the guards.

"Will you be eating her then?"

"I can swim, but save me at least one bone." Said Murtogg

(Jack dives in to save her pulls her out of the water and puts her onto the dock)

"Ahh! That's no rodent! That's a girl and I don't think she can breathe, maybe we should help her!" said Mullroy.

"Umm... okay I guess," Said Murtogg

(Jack rips off the stink layer of her dress)

"Well I never would have thought of that!" Mullroy exclaimed.

"Clearly you've never been to Singapore,

(Sees her medallion) where did you get that?

(Furrington comes over)

"On your toes!" Furrington commanded.

"Actually last time I did that I broke two toes." said Jack.

"Furzzabeth, honey, sugar chunks are you alright?" Governor Swann questioned

"Si si swan man!" Furzzabeth yelled.

"7 Days!" Wispered Jack.

"Wh- wh- what?" asked Furrington extremely scared.

"I haven't showered in 7 days!"

"Few!" Said Furrington (Relieved)

"That's disgusting!" said Governor Swann.

"Alright what's your name?"

"Smithy Swagongoagon ahh excuse me there was a large amount of spit in my throat, its captain Jack, Jack Lemur."

"Shave him this instant!" screamed Furrington.

"NO, NO, NO!! You can't!! Jack exclaimed.

"You wont be alone i know what it feels like to be furless." Said Furzzabeth.

"You are with no doubt the absolute worst pirate iv never heard of!" said Furrington.

"But you have heard of me."

"No i haven't! Did you not just hear me?" Furrington questioned.

(Long awkward silence)

"I really must protest i mean this man saved my furless life. I know what is like to be furless, no one deserves that kind of pain, agony, suffering, fear, despair" Cried Furzzabeth

"Okay i get the picture!" said Furrington

"Finally!" (Puts chain around Furzzabeth's neck)

"You scoundrel of a monkeys butt, I am royal ya know so get ur chains off of me this instant!" Yelled Furzzabeth.

"Never! now furrington my furfects i mean effects." Said Jack.

"Alright, alright you flounder in a monkeys butt!" said Furrington

(Elizabeth puts them on)

"Gentlemen you will always remember this as the day you almost shaved captain Jack Lemur!

(tryst to get out from around Furzzabeths neck)

oh dear its stuck in your hair."

"I don't have any hair!" cried Elizabeth.

"Oh yes! (he shoves her toward all of the men they move and she falls into the water) that's gonna hurt!!

(kicks little mettle thing grabs on the rope goes up swings around puts chain around rope and slides down to the dock

and runs into wills shop then will comes in after he gets the chains off of his hands)

"Ello poopet" Said Will.

"Ello poopet? What were u thinking when u came up with that?" Question Jack.

"Hey its a free country!" Said Will.

"Alright step aside!" said Jack.

"Why so you can escape? Okay!"

(He steps aside will trips on a board and throws a sword so it gets stuck in the door)

"You tricked me!!" Said Jack.

(Pulls out a sword and they start fighting)

"ahh man you suck at this! How bad your foot work?"

"Look smarty pants! You see all these swords i make them and i practice with them three minutes a day!" Will said proudly.

"You need to find yourself a primate mate.

or maybe it is you already have but you are in other words perhaps incapable of wooing such strumpet." Said Jack.

"Shut up you flying pig!!" Will Yelled.

(Mr. Brown wakes up as eh army guys are coming in and he hits will on the head)

"Oops! Crap!" Said Mr. Brown

(Jack tries to run but he trips over will he falls and hits his head and it knows him out)

"Mwah ha ha Mwah ha ha!" Said Furrington

"Okay you're done!" Said Governor Swann.

"Well gentlemen you will always remember this as the day captain Jack Lemur almost didn't get shaved." Said Jack.

(back to Furzzabeth)

"You must have been terrified!" The maid yelled.

"Yes it was a bit scary having my caught when i don't have any hair" Exclaimed Furzzabeth.

"I meant you being pushed off that wall by furrington."

"I suppose that was a tiny bit scary." Furzzabeth Remarked.

"Ya know Furrington is a fury man if its not to bold to say."

"Yes she is a furry man." Said Furzzabeth.

"Well that will Fuzzner hes quite the furball too!"

"That is to bold/"

"Sorry i just thought."

"No leave now!"

(back to Furrington and Governor Swann)

"Has my daughter told you her answer yet?" Governor Swann asked.

"No not yet i mean after i pushed he off a wall and everything." Said furrington a little ashamed.

"Hmm... I still don't understand why she didn't.

(bomb flies and barely misses Governor Swan but takes of his wig)

noooo!! my wig what will i ever do."

"I dunno maybe but a new one" Said Furrington.

"I don't know those cannons. its the gorilla." Exclaimed Jack.

"Black Gorilla I have heard of it never leaves any survivors"

"Or really then how come there are stories?" Jack Asked.

"I dunno ur trying to make me think aren't you? aren't you!!!!"

(A bomb hits the wall and they all escape except for Jack)

"Dag Nabbit!!" Said Jack.

(Back to Will)

(he ur out he tires to throws his ax at a guy but when eh pulls it back to throw forward it flies backwards and barely misses governor swan)


	4. furryossa attacks

"Tee hee Tee hee," squeaked will. (Hides behind a small stick)

"Ya know I can see you," said Governor Swann.

"Um… I am your conscience this never happened it's just a figment of your imagination" (sprints away)

"Hm... I could sworn that was will, I never knew I had a conscience I wonder what his name was, said governor swann to himself."

"Hello, I am a squirrel, yes I talk, and I also eat other things besides acorns I know shocking. So let's cut to the chase, im looking for a side kick to help me take over the squirrel world, would you have the honors?" Asked Pafoofta.

(Governor Swann kicks Pafoofta into the water he hears squeaks in the distance)

"You'll regret this!!" (Splash)

"Now that was just plain scary."

(Sniff sniff) "I smell (sniff sniff) oh no! I smell Furzzabeth!" Exclaimed Will. (He passes out) "Will! Will! Hm... I wonder why he passed out, must have smelt something really bad, probably a skunk or something," said Furzzabeth

(Furzzabeth runs back to her house)

"Furzzabeth hurry! Take a bath! They can smell you and they'll find you!!" Said the Maid.

"Wha- what do you mean I smell bad?" Questioned Furzzabeth.

"What is your nose clogged child? Ya freakin smell like elephant poo. When was the last time you showered? Three years ago?"

"No it's my dress, it's an elephant poo dress daddy said it was the latest fashion in the Furibbean"

"Ya and it was your dad that old me I was pretty," said the Maid.

(Furzzabeth looks at the Maid and sees how ugly she is)

"Oh I see what you mean…"

(Furzzabeth goes and takes a bath)


End file.
